Book Review - Boundaries: Where to Draw the Line in your Head, Heart & Home (Miller & Lambert)

As our home, love and working lives increasingly blur into the same domain, boundaries are more important than ever in protecting our wellbeing and mental health. Yet, stress and anxiety surrounding the pandemic’s far-reaching impact can mean they are difficult to recognise and implement.

Enter Jennie Miller & Victoria Lambert’s hands-on guide to help you navigate where your boundaries lie and how to establish them. As an experienced psychotherapist and wellbeing journalist, respectively; the authors are well-placed to facilitate your personal journey into the world of boundaries. Indeed, the book paves the way to increased self-awareness and personal development via a format of explanation, client examples and self-reflective activities. It is separated into sections that correspond with different aspects of our lives, family, love, work and health; so even those of us who feel our boundaries are well affirmed, are likely to find areas previously unconsidered (sleep boundaries anyone..?!)

What philosophy is the book based on?

Jennie Miller is a Transactional Analyst and the most transferable and easily understood aspects of TA theory are well integrated throughout the book, providing competent, appropriate and insightful psychoeducation to support the authors’ reasoning. Sections using Karpman’s Drama Triangle are particularly useful in helping the reader understand their relational patters and why they are likely to discount boundaries in certain situations and with certain people.

Who is this book for?

Anyone interested in expanding their self-awareness and feeling as though they’d like more control in their lives. If you often feel stressed, overwhelmed, anxious or taken advantage of, then this book could be really beneficial.

Who is this book not for?

Anyone looking for an ultra-quick fix (Spoiler alert…that doesn’t exist anywhere). One of the best aspects about this book for me, is that it provides a way to do the work you might do with a therapist, in an accessible and non-triggering way. The authors clearly recognise that boundaries are not quick behavioural changes and take the time to explore why you might be finding them difficult to recognise or hold. As a therapist, I find this kind of self-reflective work is the key to expanding self-awareness and finding a way to implement behavioural change that is personal to you and that you can maintain

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